New York Magazine's Sex Lives

New York Magazine's Sex Lives

A weekly podcast about sex, lust, dating, technology, coupling, porn, fetish and freakiness. But mostly sex. With New York Magazine’s sex columnist Maureen O’Connor.

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Start listening to New York Magazine's Sex Lives

The Dangers of a Too-Clean Dick

New York Magazine's Sex Lives

A listener calls Sex Lives with a harrowing story about accidentally destroying her husband's penis with Lysol.

24 Min

Apr 14, 2017

Is it OK to Take an Uber While Giving Birth?

New York Magazine's Sex Lives

E.J. Dickson, who last visited Sex Lives while pregnant, returns with her two-month-old baby in tow. She recounts taking an Uber to the hospital while her water was breaking, and feeling her uterus lifted out of her body. Motherhood is wild.

28 Min

Mar 31, 2017

The Dating Tour of America

New York Magazine's Sex Lives

Where is the best place in America to fall in love? When Cosmopolitan asked Jada Yuan to find out, she flew to six wildly different locales to look for love in every damn place. She came away exhausted—and more optimistic than ever.

42 Min

Mar 24, 2017

Episode
Podcast
Time
Released
31 min
Mar 17, 2017
i

Ella Dawson has herpes, and talking about it is sort of her thing. Ella gets real about dating with herpes, enjoying unprotected sex, and getting her sexual education from Harry Potter fan fiction.

23 min
Mar 10, 2017
i

Rachel Kramer-Bussel was a law student in the late '90s when an erotic fantasy about Monica Lewinsky changed her life— by inspiring her to drop everything and pursue a career in erotic literature.

26 min
Mar 3, 2017
i

Host Maureen O'Connor tries VR porn for the first time and is horrified. She's not the only one— the technical demands of the new medium has male performers struggling to stay turned on, too.

30 min
Feb 24, 2017
i

To balance the myths of hardcore porn with reality, Cindy Gallop founded Make Love Not Porn, a video sharing network that is "pro-sex, pro-porn, pro-knowing the difference."

36 min
Feb 17, 2017
i

David France revisits the hope and heartbreak of his youth during the AIDS crisis— and offers lessons from his generation’s hard-won victories.

22 min
Feb 10, 2017
i

"You can't play it cool on Snapchat," says Priscilla Pine. And that's why it's the best for flirting.

16 min
Feb 3, 2017
i

"I think it's a myth that you can't be a little bit pregnant because I've been a little bit pregnant for about six years," says Andrea Syrtash, founder of the Pregnantish.com.

42 min
Jan 27, 2017
i

L is the first letter of LGBTQ, but often remains misrepresented and on the fringe. This week, two generations of queer women discuss the state of the modern lesbian.

19 min
Jan 20, 2017
i

To honor the presidential inauguration, Sex Lives assembles a panel of politically thoughtful (and sexually perverse) minds to reflect on the sexual absurdity of Donald Trump and modern politics.

22 min
Jan 13, 2017
i

Sure, you're cool with run-of-the-mill porn— but what about cannibal porn? Quicksand porn? Why does that stuff exist, anyway?

21 min
Jan 6, 2017
i

Scott and Julie Rising have been leading parallel lives since birth. Each came out as gay after leaving Alaska.

42 min
Dec 30, 2016
i

A preacher talks to his gay atheist son.

34 min
Dec 23, 2016
i

Every week, Sex Lives invites listeners to respond with their stories. This week, we listen— and call you back.

35 min
Dec 16, 2016
i

At 40, Glynnis MacNicol realized she didn't want to be a mother, and didn't need a partner. And then she discovered newly exhilarating sexual and romantic freedom.

24 min
Dec 9, 2016
i

E.J. Dickson discusses her new career, her new boobs, pregnant masturbation, and fighting strangers who don't give her a seat on the subway.

22 min
Dec 2, 2016
i

Andrea Silenzi, host of "Why Oh Why," discusses honesty, deception, memoir, heartbreak, and why Donald Trump ruined her orgasms.

32 min
Nov 24, 2016
i

Christopher Trout, Engadget's executive editor, returns to Sex Lives to discuss family, fertility, why discovering his sexuality meant losing his faith, and how he found peace inside a porn star's anus.

53 min
Nov 18, 2016
i

Mona Chalabi first saw her vulva while peering into a hand mirror at a labiaplasty surgeon's office; thanks to filmmaker Mae Ryan—the other half of The Guardian’s “Vagina Dispatches” docs-series team—we get to see Mona seeing it, too.

30 min
Nov 11, 2016
i

Could you tell a $10,000 fake penis from the real thing? Karley Sciortino couldn't.

33 min
Nov 4, 2016
i

You Don't Know Dick

33 min
Oct 28, 2016
i

Former Sex Lives co-host Allison P. Davis— now a staff writer at The Ringer— returns to deliver a master class on manipulating love interests by text message.

29 min
Oct 21, 2016
i

Sex Lives visits downtown restaurant New York Sushi Ko to snack on sea urchin and discuss the perils of— and secret tricks for— dining with dates.

52 min
Oct 14, 2016
i

Eddie invited Sex Lives into his Brooklyn apartment for a discussion of race, sex, love, death, learning about masturbation from Ghostface Killah.

27 min
Oct 7, 2016
i

Ok, maybe a few guys, but most of you are lying to yourselves, says Dr. Emily Morse.

28 min
Sep 29, 2016
i

Dr. Chris Donaghue explains how to radicalize your masturbatory life and why he's so over meeting hookups at bars.

30 min
Sep 22, 2016
i

New York sex writer Alana Massey felt a little crazy when she bought a house without a family to put in it. During a visit back to the city, she ruminated on the romance of real estate.

39 min
Sep 15, 2016
i

French GQ sex columnist Maia Mazaurette was Paris's answer to Carrie Bradshaw - until she came to New York, joined Tinder, and fell in love with an American.

40 min
Sep 8, 2016
i

Can I Sleep with My BFF's Ex?

42 min
Sep 1, 2016
i

Gossip columnist Rob Shuter - who oversaw J.Lo and Jessica Simpson at their peaks - talks celebrity penis size, Kim Kardashian body hair, and what on earth is Bieber's game? With Maureen O'Connor.

31 min
Aug 25, 2016
i

In her mid-twenties, Katie Heaney wrote "Never Have I Ever: My Life (So Far) Without a Date." Today, Katie is in a serious relationship - with a woman.

36 min
Aug 18, 2016
i

To bid farewell to her co-host David Wallace-Wells, Maureen interrogates his wife Risa Needleman about his-and-hers manbuns and much, much more.

27 min
Aug 11, 2016
i

Jennifer Kaplan and Lindsey Rupp, hosts of Bloomberg's Material World podcast, give a guided tour of America's $15 billion sex toy industry-- and gender politics, free-speech battles, and consumer choices that shape it. With Maureen O'Connor.

32 min
Aug 4, 2016
i

Men who grow better with age, how "benching" became the new "ghosting," and the wisdom (or cruelty) of romantic holding patterns.

34 min
Jul 28, 2016
i

Recording from Phildelphia during the DNC, New York Magazine's Rembert Browne joins Maureen O'Connor for a discussion of political romance.

44 min
Jul 21, 2016
i

Vogue sex columnist Karley Sciortino argues that, in the age of Tinder, hitting on strangers at bars is crazier than an internet-enhanced hookup.

35 min
Jul 14, 2016
i

Science of Us's Drake Baer explains a series of scientific studies that calculate what makes a dating market good or painful, and how they explain why dating in New York is so wretched.

33 min
Jul 7, 2016
i

A special report from a $400-per-couple Hamptons sex party marketed to "the world's sexual elite."

0 min
Jul 7, 2016
i

A quick update on this week's show.

38 min
Jun 30, 2016
i

Is sex quantifiable? What counts as sex, and why do we feel so compelled to count it, anyway?

40 min
Jun 23, 2016
i

It's real, real weird, and pretty amazing.

28 min
Jun 16, 2016
i

We interview Moira Weigel, the author of "Labor of Love: The Invention of Dating," about how crazily recent - and purely American - the whole idea of dating is.

40 min
Jun 9, 2016
i

Is the most rational approach to marriage an arrangement?

38 min
Jun 2, 2016
i

Or so says Amy Rose Spiegel, who discusses her sexual memoir, Action: A Book About Sex, as well as slut phases, trampages, and which founding father she'd most like to fuck.

32 min
May 26, 2016
i

This week, a live episode, taped as part of the Vulture festival, in which we go deep into the dating and sex life of Phoebe Robinson of 2 Dope Queens.

36 min
May 19, 2016
i

This week, we interview the sex- and romance-writer Alyssa Shelasky, maven of New York Magazine’s hugely popular sex diaries.

32 min
May 12, 2016
i

It's the ultimate sign of straight masculinity: the ability to get a woman off. So what happens when he fails?

37 min
May 5, 2016
i

Should your boyfriend be your best friend? Are you more popular single, or coupled? Is your social life preventing you from settling down?

44 min
Apr 29, 2016
i

We talk to feature film directors Joey Kuhn and Pamela Romanowsky about all the weirdness of directing sex scenes.

35 min
Apr 23, 2016
i

This week, everything you ever wanted to know about sex dreams.

29 min
Apr 13, 2016
i

Giving the world's least-respected sex act something like its proper due.

29 min
Apr 6, 2016
i

Should you be able to register a breakup, like a wedding? Who keeps the friends? Who keeps the cat?

24 min
Mar 30, 2016
i

Anna Davies got pregnant during a foreign fling, which is just the beginning of her Tinder-happy version of "Eat, Pray, Love."

29 min
Mar 23, 2016
i

This week we bid a tearful adieu to co-host Allison Davis, which we do mostly by talking about dong shots

34 min
Mar 16, 2016
i

This week, we talk to data guru Mona Chalabi about just how much noise people actually make during sex, and much more.

25 min
Mar 9, 2016
i

Carolyn Yates joins us to talk about Autostraddle's massive recent data analysis, which found period sex to be "the ultimate lesbian sexual indicator," among many other things.

36 min
Mar 2, 2016
i

This week we grill cleanup icon Jolie Kerr (of “Ask a Clean Person”) about how to wash a sex toy, launder semen stains, slyly coverup an accident in bed, and lots more.

25 min
Feb 24, 2016
i

This week, Stanford psychologist Lauren Howe explains why some people take break-ups brutally and others really blithely.

43 min
Feb 19, 2016
i

Chris Trout has seen the future of sex and it is... trippy.

27 min
Feb 10, 2016
i

We debate the question at length with Brian Sloan, the veteran of the World’s Most Beautiful Vagina Contest who recently ran a much less attractive sequel with balls.

29 min
Feb 3, 2016
i

Amber Rose invented an emoji protocol for discussing butt play-- but is Kanye's relentless slut-shaming of his ex reason enough for her to butt-shame him?

32 min
Jan 27, 2016
i

Also, why are we so much more comfortable with public sex than public masturbation?

25 min
Jan 20, 2016
i

Last year, over the holidays, the number of searches for incest-themed videos on Pornhub and its competitors spiked dramatically, hundreds of percent in a single month, and only continued to grow all through 2015.

31 min
Jan 13, 2016
i

This week we talk with Tristan Taormino about just what kids learn from PornHub—and how some sexually-explicit (and maybe even hot) video could make its way into American classrooms.

27 min
Jan 6, 2016
i

This week, a deep-dive into dirty voicemails (and return to racism in sexual preference, among other long-time obsessions). With Allison P. Davis and Maureen O'Connor.

33 min
Dec 30, 2015
i

This week, a long talk with Kevin Allison, host of the expansive sex-heavy storytelling podcast Risk, about kink, the retreating horizon of outre sex, and whether having a thing for Asian guys is ok. Also, a new study suggests evolutionary biologists...

33 min
Dec 23, 2015
i

This week, we interview, at length, Lisa Hoehn—actually a genuine and full-time professional Tinder Cyrano. We also discuss a new paper arguing that women like being sexually objectified, so long as its by loving partners. Which is a finding...

29 min
Dec 16, 2015
i

This week we interview podcast superstars Corinne Fisher and Krystyna Hutchinson about their project to interview all the men they’ve slept with, High Fidelity style. We also talk about the people using airbnb as a hook-up app (and whether...

30 min
Dec 9, 2015
i

This week, we talk to Alexa Tsoulis-Reay, who's spent the last year interviewing men who've castrated themselves to "cure" their "sex addiction," women in relationships with their fathers, men in love with horses, and many other human outliers for her...

25 min
Dec 2, 2015
i

And we go super deep on it, talking at length with Debra Pascali-Bonaro, who made a whole documentary about it (you may never forget these clips). We also speak about orgasms that make you deaf, with Sophie Saint Thomas, who speaks from experience,...

27 min
Nov 25, 2015
i

It's the closest you can get to an orgy with just two people-- but has 69ing gone out of style? Also up for discussion: the joys of lazy sex, the terrors of vagina-spanking, controversial views on lubricants, and the most psychotic...

26 min
Nov 18, 2015
i

We’re joined by “Sylvia,” the anonymous creator of the blog “How to Make Me Come,” which is now a podcast as well. She tells us about the impetus to create an online compendium of real women sharing exact instructions for...

24 min
Nov 11, 2015
i

You know that thing when you go to a party and nobody talks to you? The same can happen at orgies. Special guest Anna Pulley explains the agony of awkward orgy-going and how to troubleshoot it. Meanwhile, a new 3-D sex movie features a history-making...

30 min
Nov 4, 2015
i

Now that Neil Strauss and Tucker Max have found feminism (and grappled with sex addiction) is the age of pickup artistry dead? Or are gender, sex, and love dead -- as a new generation of agender, asexual, and aromantic college activists argue? And...

27 min
Oct 28, 2015
i

Will anything ever unseat the eggplant emoji as the ideal cartoon dong? And with all the R&D money at emoji HQ, can’t they do better than a taco for vagina? We also talk about Nantucket’s amazing history of whaling-industry-era dildos...

24 min
Oct 21, 2015
i

This week, we talk about the odd phenomenon of men trying to re-stretch their circumcised foreskins, whether post-sex blues says more about the fucking or more about you (it’s you!) and about how millenials (including Allison!) aggressively edit...

22 min
Oct 14, 2015
i

This week, Maureen offers what she swears is the absolute last and final word on dating apps (her mantra: the tech doesn’t matter, just the people). We also discuss a new study about the way in which sexual types may be the result of early...

29 min
Oct 7, 2015
i

Is dating a lopsided numbers game in which women are screwed? We talk to Jon Birger, author of Dateonomics (who says, yes, totally). We also debate when in a relationship the sex is best (wondering why it takes people so long to figure out how to fuck...

26 min
Sep 30, 2015
i

In this episode, we go long with Sex Myth author Rachel Hills, who argues that sex-soaked culture has given us sexual standards that literally no one’s sex life matches up with. With Maureen O’Connor and David Wallace-Wells.  

23 min
Sep 23, 2015
i

Is monogamy over? A new Time magazine story says it should be, and we wonder just how much influence Dan Savage has had on our sex lives. We also discuss the (reliable) glories of the pull-out method, and how relationships change birth-control...

25 min
Sep 16, 2015
i

When is the best season for boning? We debate the essay “Towards a Theory of Fall Fuckability" by Jamie Lauren Keiles. Also: a new study says the ideal dick for women is only barely bigger than average (Maureen and Allison disagree). And: we...

26 min
Sep 9, 2015
i

This week, we go long on sexual stamina—how long is too long, how long is just right, and when did we start taking an egg-timer to bed? The answer: very recently! You know, about the time men started actually caring about women’s pleasure....

22 min
Sep 2, 2015
i

How did Ashley Madison build a billion-dollar casual-sex site without actually arranging any actual casual sex? We discuss the company’s insane fembot army and the pathetic gullibility of 22 million male users. Also: a new study says people in...

28 min
Aug 19, 2015
i

A new “study” of sext-selfies makes the case that prettiness comes in all shapes and sizes (so long as the selfie, and the vagina, are well-lit). But how much can we trust this study, and how gross do we feel talking about ranking...

27 min
Aug 12, 2015
i

Maybe they’re not actually straight? We discuss a new book on the historyof clandestine same-sex coupling and a new dating-app-alarmism classic,“Tinder and the Dating Apocalypse.” With Maureen O’Connor, Rich Juzwiak,Jesse...

27 min
Aug 5, 2015
i

It include one with multiple holes in a single wall!

28 min
Jul 29, 2015
i

A team of scientists have determined universal penis beauty standards-- but do we agree with their findings? A heated debate about grooming, size, and male locker room culture follows. We also discuss a new study about race and online dating, and...

31 min
Jul 22, 2015
i

This week: First you fall in love, then you get naked-- but what if it was the other way around? Maureen learns how nudists flirt, and Allison interviews the stars of her favorite TV show, Dating Naked. Plus, a visit to the Hooters of dicks. With...

30 min
Jul 15, 2015
i

This week: How embarrassing is it to still love Sex and the City? Maureen interviews Candace Bushnell about her new book, which is sort of about her wanting to murder Sarah Jessica Parker (also about the weird way she identifies with Nathan...

27 min
Jul 8, 2015
i

It grips into place. And that's a good thing.

20 min
Jul 1, 2015
i

But really, where should we...?

23 min
Jun 24, 2015
i

This week: What does it mean to make a boner pill for women? We'll solve the problem of the low libido, right after we figure out whether it’s actually a problem or not (with help from Melissa Dahl of the Science of Us). Also: People who post on...

20 min
Jun 17, 2015
i

Is Tinder Giving You Herpes?

19 min
Jun 10, 2015
i

We Put Dr. Ruth on the Couch

20 min
Jun 3, 2015
i

Introducing the Threesome Matchmaker

22 min
May 27, 2015
i

Best Picture Edition

33 min
May 20, 2015
i

Does Guernica Turn You On?

25 min
May 13, 2015
i

Hitting the Dick Gym

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